Few things are more terrifying than hearing a loved one say, “I do not want to live anymore.” The panic. The confusion. The desperate search for the “right” words. In Right Now! Practical Strategies for Anxiety, Depression, and Suicidal Thinking, Suzanne K. Oliver provides something every family member, friend, or caregiver needs, a clear, compassionate roadmap for helping someone in crisis.
After losing both her son and husband to suicide, Suzanne learned firsthand that love alone is not always enough. You need tools, language, awareness, and action. This blog explores how to support someone struggling with suicidal thoughts, using the practical steps Suzanne outlines in her book.
First: Recognize the Warning Signs
Many people assume suicidal thoughts “come out of nowhere.” In reality, there are often signs, emotional, behavioral, and even verbal. According to Right Now!, common warning signs include:
- Talking about wanting to die or expressing hopelessness
- Withdrawing from friends or family
- Giving away possessions or saying goodbye
- Increased substance use or reckless behavior
- Changes in sleep or appetite
- Sudden mood improvement after prolonged depression (can signal a decision to act)
Suzanne emphasizes: take all mentions of suicide seriously, even if they are said offhand or in a “joking” tone.
What to Say (and Not Say)
When someone opens up about suicidal thoughts, your reaction matters. Suzanne offers clear, actionable advice on how to respond.
Say:
- “Thank you for trusting me. I am here for you.”
- “You are not alone. We will get through this together.”
- “You matter to me. I want to help you find support.”
Avoid:
- “You are being dramatic.”
- “You have so much to live for!”
- “Just try to think positive.”
Invalidating someone’s pain or minimizing their experience can make them feel even more isolated.
Create a Safety Plan
A safety plan is a personalized list of coping strategies and contacts a person can turn to during a suicidal crisis. In Right Now! Suzanne encourages readers to help their loved one write down:
- Warning signs (thoughts, feelings, behaviors)
- Coping strategies (breathing exercises, music, journaling)
- People to contact (family, friends, therapists)
- Crisis hotlines (988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S.)
- Safe environments (remove means of self-harm when possible)
This plan can become a literal lifeline in moments of emotional overwhelm.
Get Professional Help, Together
Sometimes, the person you are supporting may resist help. They may feel ashamed, afraid, or beyond hope. Suzanne advises approaching this gently but firmly:
- Offer to make the call or go with them to an appointment.
- Normalize therapy and medication as tools for healing, not signs of weakness.
- Remind them that asking for help is strength.
Suzanne also provides a list of national and international mental health resources in the appendix of her book, many of which are free and confidential.
Take Care of Yourself, Too
Supporting someone through suicidal thoughts is emotionally exhausting. Suzanne is clear: you cannot pour from an empty cup. Make sure you:
- Have your own support system
- Set boundaries when needed
- Practice self-care (mind, body, and spirit)
- Seek counseling or group support for caregivers
Your mental health matters, too.
The Power of Being Present
Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is simply show up. Sit beside them. Listen without judgment. Offer warmth and presence.
“When my son told me he wanted to die,” Suzanne writes, “I did not have the words. But I held his hand. I told him I loved him. And I wish I had known then what I know now.”
Final Thoughts: Hope is a Lifeline
No one is equipped for this kind of moment until they live through it. That is why Right Now! Is such an essential resource, it gives you the words, tools, and confidence to act with compassion and clarity.
You can be the reason someone chooses to stay. You can offer a path forward. And you can do it right now.
To get the book or access more resources, visit Suzanne K. Oliver’s website or order Right Now! On Amazon.
